Okay. I've had two experiences of this, of discharge. The first was wholly unsatisfactory and, in my view, dangerous. My father, who has dementia, had an infection and was sent, and then, once we were on top of the infection, was sent to another hospital—I'm going to name it as Chirk—for physio, because it had infected his legs. He'd got quite weak. He was actually there for 48 hours. At no point did we speak to a doctor. In fact, for the whole nine months this has been going on, we have never spoken to a doctor. We had a phone call at 4 o'clock in the afternoon to say that my father was ready to be picked up and he was fine. 'Nothing wrong with him. Great. Can go upstairs'. I was working, we scrambled together, we went to pick him up at 6 o'clock, he was struggling to walk. I was told he was dry. He wasn't, he was incontinent. He was soaking by the time we got him home. He couldn't go upstairs, he had to sleep on the sofa that night. At no point did anybody from the hospital check the home. They said he didn't need a care package. We had nothing. I ended up having to scramble around the following day to buy a bed, so it could be delivered the same day, so he could sleep downstairs. We couldn't get beds—. It's a small cottage, you can't get them down the stairs. So, that was horrendous. We ended up having a crisis team in to help support, and nobody could believe that he was discharged from that hospital without a care package.
It appears to me that he basically went up and down the two or three steps that they have in physio that I've used myself, and, 'Yes, he can go up and down stairs.' Well, he couldn't. He ended up then having to go to a care home to wait for a care package, which didn't work out. They actually asked him to leave the care home because he wasn't settled in that environment, and he went to hospital again, where he had been for seven months, waiting for a care package. The hospital don't want him there, because he's not in clinical, medical need; he's a care situation.
My father actually has come home now; he came home two weeks ago. That was a smoother situation, because we're, as a family, a bit more aware of what's going on now. However, again, I have never spoken to a doctor caring for my father. When we were allowed to visit, doctors would always say, 'Oh, it's not my patient, it's not my patient.' But then, the next day, they'll be on your back asking you to remove him, which we couldn't do without a care package.
They wanted to discharge him early evening—late afternoon, early evening. That was their original plan, which we as a family wouldn't accept. We said, 'You can't do that to someone with dementia. He needs time to settle in.' In the end, we did get him home around lunchtime, which was lovely, because he could start to settle. He settled very quickly, actually, but I can see, for other people with dementia, that that may not have been the case.
The way it could improve for me is that there has to be more communication between the medical staff and the family. The pandemic hasn't helped, but we're always speaking to nurses, not the doctors. The physios, the occupational therapists, I've had great telephone conversations with them, but they just don't seem to link between the different disciplines and nobody really seems to understand how dementia affects the individual. There is a saying, isn't there, if you meet a person with dementia, you've met a person with dementia, because everybody is so different, but there seems to be a total lack of understanding of their needs and how best to support that person and make the situation less frightening and confused for them.
They don't appear to understand that, although you ask permission from that person to do things, quite frankly, only asking that person is quite pointless, because my dad has a five-minute memory. He can remember things from five years ago very, very well, but, if you ask him what he's eaten for lunch, he doesn't know, but he knows he enjoyed it. So, what's the point in asking that person and going off their approval to do things without also including a family member?
I was my dad's relevant person representative, which I believe is a representative for the patient. Apart from getting reports that people had filled in, at no point has anybody actually asked me for anything. If they do ask anything, they ask my mum, who's 86 and very confused herself and distressed at the situation, and she specifically asked them not to call her, because it just frightens her and she panics. She wanted them to call me, but nobody calls me. So, that's my experience.